Where else can you gouge out Poseidon's eyes with your thumbs? Butcher innocent bystanders for extra health? Snap Hermes' legs off to steal his shoes? Or beat the sun god Helios to a bloody pulp, rip off his head with your bare hands, and then USE HIS SEVERED HEAD AS A FUCKING FLASHLIGHT. This is the kind of game that forces you to kick puppies to continue the storyline. Don't tell me that isn't therapeutic.
Alas, poor Yorick
The plot of the series, such as it is, revolves around Kratos, a general in the Greek army who is well-renowned for being the very best at beating the shit out of everything. After he pledges his servitude to Ares to keep from being killed at the hands of some roving barbarian, he accidentally kills his wife and child in one of his many murdering rampages. Instead of dealing with this traumatic event by resolving to become a better person and abandoning his life of violence, Kratos immediately sets out to slaughter everyone and everything that gets in his way from that point onward. This includes and is not limited to: minotaurs, gorgons, centaurs, chimeras, satyrs, harpies, sirens, Titans, and most of the notable Greek gods and heroes. After finally killing Ares and becoming the God of War, he decides that the other gods are being mean to him, and rather than leave well enough alone, he goes on a god-killing spree which will only end when Zeus is pushing up the Greek equivalent of daisies.
Alas, poor YorickThe plot of the series, such as it is, revolves around Kratos, a general in the Greek army who is well-renowned for being the very best at beating the shit out of everything. After he pledges his servitude to Ares to keep from being killed at the hands of some roving barbarian, he accidentally kills his wife and child in one of his many murdering rampages. Instead of dealing with this traumatic event by resolving to become a better person and abandoning his life of violence, Kratos immediately sets out to slaughter everyone and everything that gets in his way from that point onward. This includes and is not limited to: minotaurs, gorgons, centaurs, chimeras, satyrs, harpies, sirens, Titans, and most of the notable Greek gods and heroes. After finally killing Ares and becoming the God of War, he decides that the other gods are being mean to him, and rather than leave well enough alone, he goes on a god-killing spree which will only end when Zeus is pushing up the Greek equivalent of daisies.
I felt that the ending of the series was a bit disappointing, but I guess there really isn't anywhere else to go once you've killed off almost everyone on Earth and made the world completely uninhabitable through the power of hatred and wanton destruction. At least Kratos gives out one last "fuck you" to Athena before he bites the dust.
I do wonder what happened to Aphrodite, though, since she's the only deity Kratos runs into that he doesn't kill outright. Granted, after what Kratos does to the world, it's not like there's really anyone left for her to bone, but still.
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ReplyDeleteHeh, but we know what happened to Aphrodite! Kratos stabbed her...over and over again! *high five*
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, I really don't think everyone died at the end. Athena seemed pretty pissed that she wasn't getting the magical blue sparkle power after Kratos gave himself a Tiajuana C-section, and they seemed to imply that instead of her getting it, it'd all go to the mortals instead. Granted, I doubt there are many left, but there you go.